During my teenage years, the weight had piled on but in 2014 I realised something needed to be done or I would be dead by 30. Lots of different experiences led me to realise that.
For instance, every second week in my flat I had to bring in the bins and one day it took me an hour and a half to get the courage to do it because it was a steep driveway and the thought of getting back up it was so tiring. I thought: This shouldn't be something a 23-year-old is even worrying about. It triggered something, although that wasn't enough to make me want to change.
Then a similar thing happened when I was invited to Piha with some friends. It took 15 minutes to walk down to the beach and I remember thinking with every step: how am I going to get back up? That was all I could think about, the whole time I was at the beach.
It had been three or four years since I had weighed myself because every household scale said "Error". I knew it was more than 150kg because that's where some scales stop.
I was interning at a jewellery factory and heard them say one day they were going to sell their commercial scales, which went up to 500kg. So I decided to figure out what I weighed. I did it when everyone was in the lunch room. And I saw "169kg" staring back at me.
At 23 that's terrifying. I wanted kids and a family and a full life, but I realised at that point I was living a half life and pretending I was okay. I could actually make do. I could put on a towel and run to the bathroom, even though it didn't quite go around me. And I didn't sit on plastic chairs.
Positive self talk. What you say matters. You can be your biggest critic or your own best supporter. Self esteem affirmations can come in here, big time. Help YOU convince yourself or your own self worth, at any size, at any shape and at any stage of your journey in life. 5 Affirmations for Self Esteem I deserve to be happy and successful. I deserve a good life. I deny any need for suffering and misery. I am competent, smart and able. I am growing and changing for the better. I love the person I am becoming. 5 Confidence Affirmations I acknowledge my own self-worth; my self confidence is rising. I am worthy of all the good things that happen in my life. I am confident with my life plan and the way things are going. I deserve the love I am given. I let go of the negative feelings about myself, and accept all that is good. These self esteem affirmations and self worth affirmations great place to start, but ultimately you will want to form your own affirmations. Just think of the things that bother you about yourself or the areas you feel are lacking and create affirmations to tell yourself you are improving. However, do not rely on affirmations alone to make a difference in your life. Affirmations are just part of the battle. You also have to do real work to make change. For example, if you want to build your confidence, in addition to confidence affirmations you are going to need to do the "work" of meeting new people and putting yourself in slightly uncomfortable situations. Experiences like that will help your self confidence soar when coupled with some affirmations about self esteem. If you work on your self esteem, it will come.
But I had to make a change. I couldn't lie to myself about my weight. I had to be practical and think: how could I do it without a fad diet where I'd put the weight back on and more? I talked to Mum and my family, who reminded me that each time I did well on a diet I had told people and been accountable. I looked up Facebook and Tumblr and Instagram. I thought: "This is perfect. I can share to my friends and family and it will keep me accountable."
Four days later, after tears and sleepless nights and absolute terror, I started the Facebook page and began sharing quotes, recipes and tips. I shared every time I went for a 20-minute walk. And I shared the bad parts as well — like the loose skin and the cellulite.
Before I knew it, people I'd never heard of or met started following me. It was a good way to keep me motivated and on track. Because they were watching me, I had to go for a walk if I'd told them I was going to and I had to share it. Even with the people I lived with — I couldn't come home and sneaky-eat.
And by the end of that first year I had around 5000 followers.
Anderson went on to lose 92kg.
Journey to Health: How I lost half my body weight and found a new way of life by Simone Anderson (Allen & Unwin, $33).