TV hosts joke about Weinstein's 'monstrous behaviour'

Section
Celebrity,
Publish Date
Wednesday, 11 October 2017, 10:29AM

Last week, some people - including President Donald Trump's son Donald Jr. - made it clear: they were not happy that late-night TV hosts barely mentioned Harvey Weinstein, the famous Hollywood producer and subject of a bombshell New York Times story on Thursday alleging decades of sexual harassment against women.

Perhaps, critics thought, the TV stars were ignoring the allegations because Weinstein is a well-known Democrat.

However, by Monday night - the day after Weinstein was officially fired from the film studio that he co-founded - the comedians had plenty of Weinstein jokes, observations and general disgust. (Aside from "The Daily Show With Trevor Noah" and "Conan," which were both repeats.) Here's a rundown:

Stephen Colbert on CBS's 'The Late Show'

"Famed Hollywood producer and 'human Shrek' Harvey Weinstein is a bad person. Now, if you're not familiar, Harvey Weinstein is responsible for 'The English Patient,' 'Good Will Hunting,' 'Shakespeare in Love,' and other movies your mom liked in the '90s."

"Harvey Weinstein is no longer in the Weinstein Company, forcing them to change their name from the Weinstein Company to something more positive: Asbestos Child Slappers Inc."

(L to R) Actor Russell Crowe, producer Harvey Weinstein and actress Renee Zellweger attend an after party. Photo / Getty

"Some of the details of what Weinstein did are pretty terrible. For example, he apparently required some female employees to be present while he bathed. Which explains the job listing: 'Must type 90 words per minute and enjoy vomiting.' "

"A local reporter in New York said Weinstein forced her to watch him masturbate into a potted plant. Pro tip: if you ever have dinner at Harvey Weinstein's house, avoid the fresh basil. And after the salad's been served, when he comes around the table, that's not a pepper grinder he's holding."

Recording artist Taylor Swift, musician Este Haim, actress Jaime King, producer Harvey Weinstein and recording artist Lorde attend The Weinstein Company party. Photo / Getty

"Now, this is monstrous behaviour that, in a just world, would not have been allowed to go on for decades. It is indefensible. Weinstein immediately defended it, saying, 'I came of age in the '6os and '70s when all the rules about behaviour and workplaces were different.' And Weinstein's lawyers called him 'an old dinosaur learning new ways.' OK, A) That's no excuse. B) Dinosaurs did not touch themselves in front of the employees. The T-Rex's arms were way too short."

Jimmy Kimmel on ABC's 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

"What's the difference between Harvey Weinstein and the Pillsbury Doughboy? When the Pillsbury Doughboy offers you a roll, he doesn't ask you to watch him take a shower for it."

Jimmy Fallon on NBC's 'The Tonight Show'

"Harvey Weinstein was fired by his company yesterday for being accused of sexual harassment. Not good. They said if he keeps it up, he'll wind up with his own show on Fox News."

James Corden on CBS's 'The Late Late Show'

"After new allegations emerged that he had engaged in decades of sexual harassment, Oscar-winning film producer Harvey Weinstein was fired from his firm, the Weinstein Company. He was fired for violating the company's very strict '27 strikes and you're out' rule."

American film producer Harvey Weinstein of Miramax Films at his office in New York City, 21st April 1989. Photo / Getty

"Some of the things Harvey Weinstein is accused of, they're pretty despicable. Even Hurricane Harvey was like 'Dude, you're giving me a bad name.' "

"The fact is, his behaviour left room for only two options: Fire him from the Weinstein Company. Or elect him president of the United States."

Seth Meyers on NBC's 'Late Night'

As he is known to do, Meyers let his writers weigh in on the news.

Amber Ruffin, Ally Hord and Jenny Hagel joined Meyers on stage, and at first, things were serious.

Ruffin: "Seth, how did you feel when you heard the allegations?"

Meyers: "I was disgusted and shocked. How did you feel?"

Ruffin: "Well, I was disgusted and not shocked."

Hord: "I was disgusted and shocked that it took this long to become a story."

Hagel: "I was disgusted and shocked that people were shocked. Seth, we want to start by applauding the women who went on the record to detail Harvey Weinstein's terrible behaviour."

Ruffin: "So far we know Weinstein reached cash settlements with eight women. And where there are eight there are always more."

Hord: "And whatever details you hear, just know that means there are worse details we haven't heard."

Then they segued to jokes:

Hagel: "One woman said Harvey Weinstein cornered her in a nightclub. And then, when she wouldn't kiss him, masturbated into a potted plant."

Ruffin: "And then the plant got a three-picture deal."